


Adrift

by thesometimeswarrior



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Angst, Between Books 1 and 2, Canon Compliant, Episode: s01e20 The Siege of the North part 2, Family, Ficlet, Gen, Guilt, Hurt/Comfort, Survival, Uncle-Nephew Relationship, ozai's a horrible father
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-09
Updated: 2017-04-09
Packaged: 2018-10-17 01:00:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10583133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesometimeswarrior/pseuds/thesometimeswarrior
Summary: “Uncle,” he says, on their third day of drifting. “I let Zhao die.”





	

“Uncle,” he says, on their third day of drifting. “I let Zhao die.”

Iroh finds his eyebrows crease in concern. Zuko’s voice hasn’t sounded this meek since that horrible day almost three years ago now. And Iroh knows his nephew. Knows that the tone and lack of strength in his voice has nothing to do with the fact that he’s exhausted, that he hasn’t eaten in three days, that he’s surely dehydrated (Iroh _must_ find him water, somehow. He’s prayed to Agni—and then to Tui and La and all the other Spirits that he knows—for snow, and he’s saved what little urine he’s produced, though he had hoped it would not become necessary...) But this is not why Zuko speaks like this. Iroh kneels down beside where he lies, careful not to shift their piece of driftwood. “It was not your fault, Prince Zuko.”

“He was right in front of me…”

“You said, did you not, that you offered him your hand? That he refused to take it? His fate is his doing, for reeking havoc on the Spirits as well as for his stubborn pride…”

“Then I should have given him _reason_ to see me as an ally! I put myself over our Nation again and again...If I had just accepted that I’m a failure—”

“You are not a failure, Prince Zuko.”

“…if I had just accepted it, and put the Fire Nation first, then my Father would have had the Avatar, we would have had victory in the North Pole, and Zhao and…” He pauses. “And _everyone_ , the whole fleet, would still be alive!”

“ _None_ of what has transpired is your fault.”

“I’m tired of people dying for me, Uncle.”

“Prince Zuko…”

“You weren’t there when my mother went missing. It was because of _me._ ”

“No, Prince—”

“It _was_. Because, after my father asked Fire Lord Azulon to make him heir to the throne instead of you, the Fire Lord got angry. He said he would never do that to you, especially right after you’d lost your son. And he said…because of what he asked...my father would have to know the pain of losing a son like you, and that my father was to kill me.”

"Oh, Zuko." There is so much more that Iroh wants to say, but he cannot find the words. They are stuck in his quivering throat, and he cannot identify them anyway.

“And…" Zuko continues. "I don’t know what my mother did, but she woke me up and told me that whatever it was, she did it for me. And in the morning, she was gone, Fire Lord Azulon was dead, and my father was Fire Lord. She’s dead too, I know it. And it’s my fault.”

“No, Prince Zuko. It is not.” _Ursa loved you,_ Iroh thinks. _As I love you. We would do anything for you, unconditionally, and gladly, and it is not your fault._ But because of Ozai, he thinks, Zuko cannot understand this love. Love, Ozai has taught him, is conditional, is to be earned. _If what happened to Ursa is anyone's fault, it is Azulon’s. It is Ozai’s. It is mine, even._ And now he does find the words. “I should have been there. I would have given Ozai the throne gladly, to spare you this.”

“It’s not _your_ fault, Uncle. I just should have realized a long time ago that I’m a failure. I can’t even earn my honor back to go home.”

Iroh sighs. At this moment, despite the orders he’s been receiving for the past several months from the Order of the White Lotus, he would bind the Avatar in chains himself and hand-deliver him to Ozai, if it would relieve Zuko of this guilt. He's deserted one military, after all; what's another? He would chuck the lotus tile currently sitting in his breast pocket into the sea for his nephew right now if it would do any good, just as, if he cannot manage to find some food and water, he will cut himself open and give Zuko his blood to drink and his guts to eat.

(But he _must_ find food and water, he _must_ find some edible fish, and gather some fresh snow, or give in and pour the urine down both of their throats while it’s left, because, while he would die to keep Zuko alive, his death would only add to Zuko’s most unearned guilt. And _that_ Iroh refuses to do.)

He’ll find a way. They’ll survive. And one day, Zuko will see himself as the honorable and worthy man that he is.

But for now, he turns to his nephew. Says only, “Rest, Prince Zuko. We need to preserve our strength.”

**Author's Note:**

> I guess I just keep finding new and exciting ways to draw the angst out of Iroh and Zuko's relationship.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoyed! I live for comments!


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